Monday, October 30, 2006

idk why there has to be a reason for everything. you'd have to have a really good reason to say hi on msn, to send an sms, or to make a call. cant it just be that we felt like doing it or that we want to? everything's become more of a need to cos of bla bla bla rather that want to cos you care. weird huh.

alright. im like talking abt weird stuff but they do make sense. pffft.

mmms. watched a show today and came across this phrase.

All that aint yours, glitter as gold.
All that is, worthless as stone.

alright, so its just another phrase. but hey it means more than that. pffft. its just so darn true how something thats not yours could seem so perfect and so fine. yet, when you attain it, it doesnt seem any different from any other junk lying around. just like how they say the grass is greener on the other side. you'd never appreciate what you have. all you think of is. ITS LACKING SOMETHING. IT HAS THIS AND THAT I DONT LIKE. we never really stop for a moment to say. theres something about it that makes it beautiful. its always abt the bad, its never about appreciation.

likewise for people unfortunately. and its sad, really. like you could do so much for a friend - sacrifices, commitment and all that. in the end, they only remember one thing - how you let them down. superficial people, humans. not to say im not human. but yeah, you get the drift.

its like. how do you expect others to be this and that when firstly, you arent even close to perfection. and the focus placed on a single flaw is more than enough to neglect and miss out on all the good. and it feels worse that a single mistake makes all your other efforts worthless. if you try to make up for that flaw? 100 positive attributes arent even enough. how sad is that. not to others maybe. but definitely so to me.

went to suntec with hazel yx and joyce. talking to them really helped and i feel so so so so relieved. =] joyce was working though. but we got free caramel fraps and smth else. teehee. =]

baby i know the story
i ve seen the picture
it s written all over your face
tell me what s the secret
that you've been hiding
and who s gonna take my place

i should ve seen it comin
i should ve read the signs
anyway i guess it s over
can t believe that i m the fool again

i thought this love would never end
how was i to know
you never told me
can t believe that i m the fool again
and i who thought you were my friend

how was i to know you never told me
baby you should ve called me
when you were lonely
when you needed me to be there
sadly you never gave me
too many chances
to show you how much i care


how was i to know you never told me
about the pain and the tears
if i could i would
turn back the time



this song is rad pls . heard it just now. and im loving it. its old but whatever. says alot. i feel for it. =]

mms. im getting braces. lalala. geek looks are love . the bands in my mouth hurt. on a better note, mummy brought me on some kinda chocolate tasting spree. it was awesommme . with ice cream and all. and even pepper lunch. i love pls. she even sponsored shoe-shopping. love love love. =]

i changed my friendster profile. it shld please EVERYONE [ and thats oh-so-true]. hahahahahahha. =D its been a long long week. & im glad its almost over and for those who made it all better. aaron kevin lingyu and weini ! everyones been so sweet. esp someone for volunteering to meet me when i was upset. plus talking and all. it made me feel a gazillion loads better. sometimes idk what i'd do if i didnt have a friend like you. thanks ! =]

change is good i guess.

=]


yuan yi shou hu yi ge ren dai biao xi huan ta ma?
sounds cheena. LOL. but its like the coolest line ive heard.


goals?
- be nice
- not be a loser
- good GPA
- and smth else.

ALVES IS A SELFISH KID. HE HOGS THE COM AND DOESNT LET MY XXHAOJIEMEIXX USE IT.

now im alone and miserable.
and i have no one to complain to.
all Alves' fault.

life's beautiful isn't it. it has an uncanny ability to start off well and end off shitty every single mtr.fck.in day. i'll sum it all up in 4 words:

SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY.

i hate everyday. everyday is god damn chore. i always end up feeling miserable. i have issues - i know.

someone turn back time and bring me back to preschool. the other times were horrid.

xxhaojiemeixx !!! we need to talk ! =]
i look like an ah lian. typical. who gives a flying fcuk.

& as a sweet song of solitude played in the background, it felt as if her soul was lifted up and fading away - far far away.

that feeling was to be continued, as she was left alone and tormented until the day she'd be one with the dirt on the ground - the dirt that buried it all.

its not like im unaffected
its not like i have no feelings
its not like im not trying
its not like im not hurt

&


sometimes at the end of it all, you dont know whats right or wrong anymore.

you try -

and maybe it just isnt enough for anyone .


they still laugh, they still despise, maybe thats when you know you just arent that important after all.


random entry. =]

ferrero gardens. =] most heavenly chocs to date - i love. mwahas.

teehee. brought breakfast to someone with broken LEGS and the same someone sent me all the way to the mrt station while on crutches. very touched pls ! and went shopping with apple before work. work was a bore. and i made cookies today ! yay-ness. LOL

last week's shortbread cookies.




this week's cornflakes cookies with marshmallows.


darling ! get well soon. =]

met up with beatrice, then jh yesterday. miss hanging out with them quite abit. =]
& i saw this gorgeous Guess? long wallet. the same kinda material as my other Guess? wallet. only that its long and white and has a diff buckle. gorgeous pls. OMG ! it was calling out my name. LOL! be mine? hahahhaha

FUCK. yesterday my hair was long and now its friggin short. i hate it. i wanna cut it all off. =[

&& i can tell someone's damn disappointed that i went to cut it for no reason. sorry i don look good enough for you. =[

tsk. a few ppl said i sound diff. my voice broke la. im a man now. LOL. manly man. =]]]

& after so much hype on wanting to go to korea, my parents backed out in the end cos its gonna be real cold this year [ possibly -14 or smth] and we wont be having much fun in that case. 2nd option was japan. and it was almost a done deal kinda trip but we din get to go. why? cos it was fully booked. =[ and the only days that we wanted for departure weren't available. quite disappointing though, the itinerary seemed really nice. we're gonna go there next june or smth. this yr, we're gg to shanghai. hahahaha. havent been there but i guess it could be fun. =] fingers double-crossed. mmms.

chalet yest was fun. hahahah. esp playing dai dee with kevin alvin and miss mark. and i loved getting hit on my butt by joyce and her cola bottle. it hella hurt alot. zzz. new revelation : johnny walker or however you spell it tastes like the plastic-ky thingie when you blow balloons. GROSS. ever so weird picture with / of the others soon !!!

&& someone sweet woke up at 6+ to send me to work today.
love love !

* Carmen
* lurve_hatred@hotmail.com
* 17-ish
* TP 1B-07
* x)

* One tree hill / The simple life / America's NTM / progs on Star World
* Splurging
* Schooling? believe it or not. Work = boo.
* my iPod & digicam.
* People [ friend-people not people-people and lil gay goldfish people... =D] =X

* Superficial & scheming cunts
* Typical ah lians / ah bengs
* Flirts, etc etc.
* Ppl who are pathetic and don even know it. Its sad, really.
* & emphasis on all of the above

* unique candyy that actually tastes gd . mwaha
* pretty pretty stuff
* endless joy and laughter
* stuff that money cant buy
* =]

April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006

| mM_Ilynne | mM_Aaron |
| mM_Weini | mM_Joycey |
| friend | friend |
| friend | friend |

| Silent Whimpers |
| Sarah Free Scans |